I know this is a delicate subject for your column, but why is it that women’s public washrooms are always such a mess? We were in a place not too long ago with both men’s and women’s washrooms. My husband told me that the men’s washroom was in great shape. I found the women’s washroom to be disgusting. As in, paper everywhere, toilets not flushed etc. We’re the cleaners of the world, for heaven’s sake. What’s wrong with this picture?

Winnie the Washroom Warder

Dear Winnie:

I’m so glad you asked. No subject is taboo in my column. I have a number of theories on this subject:
1. We women are so busy looking after everyone else, we just don’t have time to look after each other.
2. We figure that if we clean up after everyone, there must be someone in the world to clean up after us. We forget that it’s usually one of our sisters.
3. Our super clean, hygienic, maternal type attitude is a sham: we’re actually messy creatures who prefer to leave toilet paper on the floor rather than in the bin.

4. Men sneak into women’s washrooms and make a mess.
5. Women sneak into men’s washrooms and secretly clean up.
6. Men have lower standards than women, therefore their “clean” washrooms actually aren’t.
7. Women take little children with them and little children are messy.
8. Mothers train little boys to be careful in the toilet. They expect little girls to just “get it”.
9. Your husband lies.
10. You’re exaggerating.

And that’s all I have to say on the matter!

Dear Gabby:

My wife and I have been discussing buying a new television. We think we’ve selected the one we want – flat screen, high definition, with all the bells and whistles. We are agreed on this. What we can’t agree on is the satellite option to go with it. I say we need all the satellite channels for the TV. My wife can’t understand why. Gabby, please make her see that it’s a good thing.

Tele addict

Dear Tele:

A good thing for who? I’ve never actually understood why people want 360 channels on satellite TV. First, those dinky dishes look silly on your roof, or wherever you decide to put them. Second, 360 channels don’t make the offerings any better. That is, garbage in, garbage out.

Have you thought of actually turning the TV off and talking to each other? I know, it’s a radical thing to do, but it’s a thought. How about playing scrabble instead of watching “Wheel of Fortune”, trivial pursuit instead of “Jeopardy”? What about reading mystery novels instead of mindless cops and robbers programmes?

I’m sure your new TV will look terrific in the corner of the living room. Why spoil the look with the rubbish it broadcasts.