I’ve been seeing my girlfriend for ten years now. We don’t live together, but we live very close. We are both in our fifties and financially secure.

Lately she’s been making noises that sound like she wants to get married. We’ve both been married before and, while she had a mutually satisfactory breakup with her ex, mine was extremely acrimonious. My ex-wife and I did not have children, but I lost my beloved dog and got stuck with the mangy cat.

I have no wish to go through that again.

What can I say to my girlfriend to make her see that we’re fine as we are. Does she need counselling?

Single and liking it.

Dear Single:

My first comment is that you’re too old to have a “girlfriend”; only a female under 21 and a woman of a certain age talking about another woman with whom they enjoy endless gossiping sessions accompanied by a glass or two of chardonnay, qualify for that title.

You don’t say why you don’t want to get married, but it seems as if you’re afraid of another breakup and getting stuck with the cat again. There are some wonderful cat adoption agencies that could help – our very own Cat’s Alive is one that comes to mind. Have you thought that perhaps the little Moggy would prefer not to live with you either? Cats are very discerning creatures and you appear to be the epitome of insensitivity.

Does your “girlfriend” need counselling? Perhaps, and then we can get to the bottom of the real problem here: does she actually want to marry you, or is this just wishful thinking on your part? If it’s the former, I’d advise that you both need your heads seeing to. If it’s the latter, you should try and convince the cat that although you’re a man you can change. If you have to (with full credit to Red Green).